Catholic Church: We’ll Forgive Abortion (As Long as You Forget Our Sexual Abuse Scandals)

Automatic Front Page News: Julia Roberts in Bikini

Promising Presidential GOP Candidate Perry a C Student (Except for that A in Military Systems), Follows in G. W. Bush’s Footsteps

Family Has 11 or 13 Children, Struggles with Keeping Track

Inside Scoop: Facebook Created by Real Person

Teen Vampire Craze Takes Sour Turn, Bats (Vampires) Just Want Acceptance

Lady Gaga Defends People with Dyscalculia

“Santorum’s Surprise” Presidential Candidate Named After Sex Act.. Again

[also]

Single Candidate Likely to Hold Hipster Vote

U.S. Military’s Super Dangerous Weapon Lost, Again.

If Seen, Call 1-800-YOUR-TEAM

When You Choose to be Gay, so Does Your Blood